


come with me and eScape

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Avengers Mansion, Avengers Mountain, Avengers Tower, Bittersweet Ending, Captain America (2018), Escape, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Reverse Big Bang Challenge, Tony Stark: Iron Man (2018), Virtual Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 23:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18861388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: When Tony Stark gifted the Avengers team with prototypes for his new product, the eScape, most of them just set it aside. With no current missions and urgent calls, Steve decides to test it out one day. In the process, he gets a little bit of his past back.





	come with me and eScape

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Cap-IM RBB 2019 Team ASSEMBLE Artwork](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860413) by [essouffle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/essouffle/pseuds/essouffle). 



> Well, it's finished and it's here! I'm incredibly nervous for several reasons:  
> 1) played fast and loose with the science and capabilities of the eScape. Listen, I read the comic and I really, really took some liberties, folks  
> 2) this is an ending that I fought quite a bit but seemed determined to write itself  
> 3) in the process of editing, I found that there was about 20k words I could have also added but I wanted to keep this short and sweet  
> 4) this is unlike anything I've written before  
> 5) Steve spends most of this story with the eScape version of Tony Stark - who is a blue holorgram, like AI Tony. 
> 
> So, I really hope you all like it and don't get too bogged down with the science of how this could ever possibly work. And yes, the title is from "The Pina Colada Song".
> 
> Eternally grateful to [essouffle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/essouffle/pseuds/essouffle) for their beautiful and lovely inspirational art. I really hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> Lastly, if you really want to know the ending, there are notes at the bottom!

Steve Rogers had never done well without a war.

Aimless and lost, it left him feeling useless. He’d volunteered to undergo the Super Soldier program because there was a war to be won. It seemed a waste of his gifts to lie about, sitting on his couch and wallowing about things he couldn’t change.

Except, these days, what more could he do?

The public didn’t trust him. Ross didn’t trust him. The government had, in plain terms, told him Captain America’s services were no longer needed. He was a soldier without a mission.

A part of him had thought the Avengers would be a welcome distraction, but they weren’t really a team. Try as he might, Steve couldn’t force them to be one. There were too many rifts, emotional scars and insecurities. Too many wars fought between them. Thor was dealing with feeling unworthy. Jen wasn’t in the right headspace to save anyone but herself at the moment. T’Challa was too preoccupied with his duties to Wakanda. Strange with his duties to the astral plane. Robbie was still in school and watching out for his brother. If Tony and Carol weren’t fighting, they weren’t speaking to each other. Steve was struggling to adjust to a world that didn’t trust him.

Even worse: he wasn’t sure if he trusted himself. And the others could see that.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Sharon asked, taking a sip of water as she eyed him across the table.

The quiet chatter of the restaurant made it easy to get lost in his thoughts. Now, he cleared his throat, sitting up straighter in his chair. The soft lighting illuminated the soft curves of her face. A classic beauty, her eyes sharp and vibrant as ever. It was hard to say if Steve had ever truly believed he’d fall out of love with her. Her brow rose, staring at him expectantly. Right, she’d asked him a question.

Scratched at his brow, he tried to ignore the sudden tightness in his chest. “Nothing, nothing. I’m just tired, sweetheart.”

Lips pursed, she lowered her water glass. “You’ve been tired a lot lately.”

Steve averted his gaze to their hands. Hers softly folded on her side of the table; his right curled into a fist on the table, the left underneath. There was a time he would have reached across and taken hers without a second thought. “I’ve been busy.”

“The Avengers, yes,” she said quietly. Steve knew that tone.

“Sharon,” he began.

“Is this really the best idea, right now?”

“The world needs—”

“You need,” she corrected gently. Her eyes were soft, her head inclined towards him in concern. “You are still trying to get the world to trust you. To trust that it’s really _you_ in there. You want to complicate that with a new team? With _this_ team?”

“It’s not perfect, but we’re working on it.”

“At one point in history, every single person on that team has tried to kill one of the others. Save maybe that kid.” She took another sip of water, choosing her words carefully. “You are trying to force this and it’s not going to work.”

“The people need a team to believe in.”

Her fingers fanned out on the table cloth, her nails neatly trimmed and short. Her hands steady as ever as he reached out to cover his fist. Her voice softened, “You need the team more than the people do. You always have. Take some time, let everyone breathe for a while.”

She squeezed his hand once and pulled away, a brief hesitance in her eyes. Steve didn’t know why he asked.

He didn’t need to.

“Everyone? Including you?”

Sharon licked her lips, pulling her hands into her lap.

 

+

 

Steve returned to his apartment, his communicator silent as ever in the pocket of his slacks.

No missed calls. No messages from T’Challa. No word on the Nukes or any new sightings of Celestials on earth. No calls for help. No one needed him.

Pulling off his sport coat, he padded through the dark apartment to the closet. Stripping down to his briefs, he reached into the dresser for track pants and tennis shoes. Then, he headed to the gym.

Boxing used to be an easy way to clear his mind. An outlet that didn’t require much from him mentally. His body moved through the motions methodically, routine patterns he fell into like an old pair of jeans. Then, Tony had offered him the training bot: a more formidable opponent. One that memorized his routines and used them against him. One that gave him a challenge when he wanted one. A beating when he wanted one.

Now, his back slammed into the ropes, blood trickling down his nose in a slow trickle, the taste of iron on his tongue. Grinning, he threw himself back into the fray.

 

+

 

A day passed without a word.

And then another.

And then another.

Steve did his grocery shopping. Caught up on his correspondence. Checked in with Sam and Bucky. Read the paper, cleaned up around his apartment, darned his socks and patched a few pairs of jeans. Two hours later, he was once again without anything to do.

On day twelve, his eyes landed on the white box on his desk.

Tony had gifted the Avengers with prototypes for his latest product: the _eScape_. An experiment in virtual reality. Robbie had been ecstatic! He’d nearly tripped over himself in his haste to get home and try it out. Carol had politely thanked Tony but set it aside, having no use for it. T’Challa had done the same. Thor took his but, Steve doubted he’d ever use it. Steve had followed his lead and it had sat unopened on his desk all this time.

Why Tony had gifted him with something like this, Steve would never know. He’d never been one for playing video games and even less likely to engage in something so fantasmal. Advertised as a virtual world where the user could be anyone they wanted to be, just for a few hours. What use would Steve have for something like that?

He’d passed the wrapped box several times without note. Tonight, he found himself reaching out.

The faceplate was cold and shaped like Iron Man’s. Unlike the glossy advertising materials, Steve’s was a deep blue with red and white accents. Clearly custom made. Taking in a breath, he held the cool device up to his face.

The world exploded into a bright white expanse. Disoriented, Steve’s eyes clenched tightly, squinting as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the blinding light. He was alone, wandering through the empty space confusedly. He could feel the floor beneath his feet, solid as though he was truly moving across it. He walked further than he was entirely proud of before he thought to stop and ask for help.

“Hello?” he called out.

A bright pink woman materialized, clad in battle armor. With a patient smile, she inclined her head towards him. “Captain,” she greeted. “I’m FRIDAY. How may I assist you?”

Steve glanced down at his body. Best he could tell, he was wearing his suit. “Should I – is there something I should be doing?”

Clasping her hands together, she cocked her head to the side. “What would you like to do?”

The question gave him pause as he scanned the white expanse. The nothingness appeared to extend on forever.

A thought occurred: he’d like to fight. It was what he’d been born for. It was all he knew how to do. Channeling his restlessness, rage and guilt into doing some good for someone else. In all honesty, he’d like to put his fist through the faces of some fascists.

“It’s a game, isn’t it?” A nod. “How do I play?”

She approached, pulling a shield out of thin air. “This isn’t the same product the general public received.” She hesitated and began to add, ‘It’s not the same product the rest of the—” her image flickered, words garbled and twisted. “For you,” she finished, solidifying.

 _Tony probably set mine to easy as a default,_ Steve mused. Speaking of, “Where is Tony? Is he in here somewhere?”

“Yes, you have to find him,” she said gamely, a smile in place. Stepping back, the world around them twisted, the sight leading Steve to stumble a few steps, his hand settling over his stomach. “In fact, that’s your first challenge.”

The world exploded into a burst of vibrant greens and blues. Steve’s stomach flipped, vision whirling as he fell onto soft grass. Even gloved, Steve could feel the plushness of the blades, pulling apart in his hand the way they would in real life. A loud cry sounded overhead, the beating of large wings headed straight for him! His head shot up, eyes widening as he caught sight of Sauron, screeching towards him with all the fury of a predator protecting its land. Steve hurried to his feet, shield in hand as he scanned the broad vale for cover.

“Where is he, FRIDAY?” Steve shouted, starting forward in a sprint. It was the strangest thing – he swore he could feel the burn in his legs, the give of the earth beneath his feet.

“No cheat codes, Captain. Good luck!” She disappeared in a shimmer.

Steve raced forward, the burn in his lungs startlingly real. Sweat dripped down his back as he dodged a gust of fire and took in his surroundings. He was running through a grassy terrain that looked a hell of a lot like the open plains of the Savage Land. Sauron was gaining on him, the wind whipping at Steve’s hair and making it difficult to tell just how close the creature was.

He slid to the left, nearly tripping over a rock jutting up from the ground as a nearby tree exploded into splinters. A few embedded in his side and arms as he spun out of the way, adrenaline coursing through his veins. A voice shouted, large tires traversing the ground as several jeeps came into view. A laugh burst out of him as he leapt into a roll, changing course and diving through the trees to his right.

 _He remembered this!_ All of this happened before! Except, at the time, he’d had –

“Dragging your feet, Cap? Get a move on!” Luke’s voice came in with a burst of static, a comm in his ear.

Heart pumping, Steve picked up speed, looking to the left, hope blossoming in his chest. There, the other members of his team running alongside him. Wolverine roaring, face twisted in a snarl as he sliced through the thick brush with reckless abandon. Spider-Man swinging his way through the trees, twisting through the small openings with ease. Spider-Woman running below him before launching off of a nearby branch and taking flight. Everything the same, except they were missing one element.

Looking to the skies, Steve found nothing but their common enemy. He raced ahead, that familiar rush of adrenaline fueling the fire in his blood.

There was a loud explosion followed by a whipping sound. “Take cover!”

With a flash of heat, one of the jeeps behind them erupted into flames. Another shout as the ground rattled and shook.

And dropped out beneath his feet.

Falling through the earth, surrounded by darkness as he landed in a heap. Hard ground beneath him, too firm to be more of the soft earth outside. Groaning, he rolled over, finding a sight he’d never forgotten. Startlingly familiar, and yet different.

“This isn’t how it happened,” he slurred, climbing to his feet with a grimace at the twinge in his arm. “It wasn’t just you.”

Tony Stark hung from the ceiling, naked as the day he was born. And glaring at Steve rather unimpressed.

“Took you long enough, darling.”

_Darling?_

Shuffling over, Steve eyed the hole he’d left in the ceiling above. He could hear gunfire and Logan’s roar, but he’d lost track of the others. As a Captain, it let him rather unsettled. Swallowing, he moved towards Tony, trying valiantly top ignore the miles and miles of brown skin on display. His gloved hand landed on Tony’s toned stomach in reassurance as he searched for a way to release Tony’s arms.

“I’m sorry. We ran into some trouble outside.”

“Of course, you did. When have we ever had a few days of fun in the sun here?”

Finding no catch, Steve cursed and tried to tug on the metal binding. “Where is here exactly?” Tony stared at him like he was crazy. “Humor me.”

“The Savage Land,” Tony replied, wincing as Steve wrenched the bindings. “When we get back, we’re getting your head checked out.”

With a loud groan, the machine came apart in pieces. Tony nearly crumbled to his knees and Steve caught him, marveling at the realistic feel of Tony’s dead weight and muscle, his body warm and lax in his arms. There wasn’t quite the same give, more like the feeling of pushing on a warm, malleable force field of some sort. But it was real enough and a sensation Steve hadn’t felt in years. His hand tightened its grip on Tony’s side, marveling at the startlingly lifelike feel of his body.

“Steve, you copping a feel here?”

Mortified, Steve stepped back in an instant, watching as Tony managed to stand on unsteady legs. Completely naked and unashamed. Clearing his throat, Steve set about checking his body for bruises and cuts, anything to avoid the urge to let his eyes sweep over Tony’s backside. Once he’d passed muster, Tony padded over to the corner of the room where he retrieved a pair of briefs and nothing more.

At Steve’s raised brow, he grinned. “I don’t have to wear much else when I’m in the armor, do I?”

“Regretting that now, aren’t you?” Steve asked roughly as a loud explosion shook the room.

“Come on!” Tony shouted, racing out of the room.

Steve followed behind, a helpless smile spreading across his face as a weightless joy overtook him.

 

 

The illusion lasted all the way back to the Tower.

Steve didn’t understand it.

Why would Tony build a game that contained these somber moments, too? What average Tom, Dick and Harry was invested in this part of the story? When the adventure was over, Luke was griping about how much his feet hurt and Jessica Drew was making faces at Logan for dripping sweat everywhere. Steve sat silently in his seat while Tony flew them home, baffled at the easy chatter going on around him.    
  
When they touched down, Steve shuffled down the familiar path to the elevator, marveling at how real everything felt. Tony followed alongside him with a tentative smile.

Everything was _exactly the same!_ From the team portraits lining the walls to the small nail polish kit Jan had left behind on the kitchen counter. Danielle Cage’s small shoes beside the couch and one of Logan’s empty beer bottles on a coaster on the end table. The scent of Jarvis’ earl grey tea and the lemon scented cleaner he used on the floors. The refrigerator magnets, the Chinese take-out menu Jarvis used to hide and stare at in disapproval when it magically reappeared.

Everything was exactly the way Steve remembered! His eyes warmed, cutting to Tony, his throat tight. Concerned, Tony jerked his head towards the hall, his hand a small weight on Steve’s back as he steered him in that direction.

“Come on, sweetheart. Get a move on.”

Steve complied, his hands clenched into fists at his sides to keep from touching anything. He didn’t want to risk ruining it. Moving ahead, the followed the familiar path to his bedroom.

He’d just pulled the shirt over his head out of habit when Tony entered. “So, we gonna talk about what happened back there?”

“What? You needed rescue?” Steve asked, setting his chainmail shirt on the bed. “Again?”

Tony raised a brow, a smirk on his face. “I didn’t need rescue. I’m an Avenger, baby,” he boasted.

Steve’s mouth twisted, hands on his hips as he levelled Tony with a shrewd stare. “What are you doing?”

“What?”

“What is that? Why are you talking to me like that? Like I’m one of your fans.” He moved in closer, his voice firm. “Talk to me like a person. Like someone that really knows you.”

The room fell into silence, Tony holding his gaze steadily. All at once, his image flickered before Steve, visible lines of data. Then he was standing there, a transparent and vibrant blue. Running a hand over his head in a motion Steve had seen many times before. It was uncanny.

“Most people in here just want the show,” he offered, almost apologetically.

“I don’t. Don’t talk to me like you don’t know me.”

Tony nodded once, the corner of his mouth quirking. “Okay, I won’t.”

 

+

 

After the first foray, Steve was more than hesitant to try it again.

Pulling the faceplate off and facing the real world again had been rather jarring. The world within the _eScape_ had felt so _real!_ The heat beating down on his skin in the Savage Land, the rush of adrenaline rushing alongside the others like old times. The sights and scents of the Tower. The air of excitement and that tentative hope it had taken a few wars to wrest away from them. It had felt like walking through one of his memories. Nostalgic and safe. _Home_.

The kind of felling that was dangerous to cling to these days. If Steve let himself get lost, get wrapped up in the memory, he’d become complacent. If he became complacent, he’d leave his flank open. No, better to stick with things that were real.  
  
Like the Nukes.

“At this time, we don’t have any leads, Captain,” T’Challa said, staring up at him from the communicator.

“Nothing? Nothing at all? Not even a sighting?”

“I’m afraid not. We’re tracking the names we were able to dredge up last month, but there haven’t been any hits.”

Leaning back in his chair, Steve eyed the quiet city outside his window. Here or the mountain, it made no difference. He simply wasn’t needed.

“Thanks, T’Challa.”

After the Celestials, there wasn’t much for the Avengers to do. The Champions were running around cleaning up New York. Clint was out in California watching over the kids watching over the west. Steve was keeping an eye on crime alerts that sounded like the Nukes or AIM or any of their offshoots. Not a single sighting.

Steve was, once again, without a mission.,

Sighing, he ran a tired hand over his face. His eyes fell to the faceplate.

 

+

 

_Breathe in._

_Breathe out._

_It was only a game_.

Steve knew that. Even sliding across the ground, jagged rocks and brambles scraping up his thighs. Heart in his throat, blood pumping hard as adrenaline flooded his system. He knew he couldn’t actually die; that these gunmen chasing him on horseback weren’t real. He could stop at any time.

But it was _fun!_

He rolled to his feet with a laugh, dodging a crack of gunfire. The cracked red clay beneath his feet, the burn in his thighs as he raced through the desert hills. There was a sharp drop, a shout escaping as he began sliding towards the ledge. Boots sliding along the rocky terrain as he tried to slow his descent. A sharp stone sliced open the side of his suit, digging into his hip. A gasp escaped, stomach turning as he threw out an arm to catch a nearby branch.

It broke apart with a sharp crack, hanging on by a prayer as he dangled over the cliff side. Panting, he stared up the night sky and tried to avoid the sights below. The quiet town square full of people Steve would rather not crush should he lose his grip completely. It was more than a fifty foot drop down to the old wester town from a long-begotten era.

Sweat dripped into his eyes, gloves sliding along the rough sides of the branch in hand. He had minutes – _seconds_ – before the branch failed to hold his weight and he tumbled to the ground below.

Bracing himself, he squeezes his eyes shut as he shivered in the icy chill of the night air.

The quiet whistle of the wind, his heart beating fast in his chest. Then a quiet snap.

Falling through the air, no parachute and no hope. Then he heard a sound. A familiar whir that sent a rush of warmth through his body.

Strong arms wrapped around him, a cheerful voice in his ear. “Need a hand, partner?”

Steve wrenched his eyes open to find that familiar red and gold armor. Holding him up as he hovered in the air.

Smiling, Steve recited the old script. “Boy, am I glad to see you!”

 

 

 

As Steve walked, he dusted off his suit, marveling at the blood dripping down his side. Iron Man walked beside him, though he could just as easily fly. Noting the smile, Steve was rather amused. Tony could simply skate ahead of Steve, if he was so inclined. The image brought a smile to his face as he regripped the shield.

“You shouldn’t go so far, you know?” Pulling the helmet off, Steve watched as his brow furrowed in concern.

“Why not? I’m helping you test this thing, aren’t I?” he asked, tightening his shield’s strap.

“Well, yes, but I haven’t worked out all the kinks. Who knows what’s out there?”

Steve touched his stomach, eyes widening as his fingers came away wet. Ruby red, the metallic scent in his nose as he studied them curiously. “How does this work?”

Looking over, Tony hummed thoughtfully. “Oh, there’s a neural link. All consensual of course. Agreed to when you sign the terms and conditions, not that anybody reads them. It wouldn’t work as well if you’d never experienced such a sensation, mind you. If you tried to… I don’t know, fly of your own volition, the system couldn’t recreate that experience perfectly because you’ve never done that before.”

Nodding, Steve trudged forward. He supposed that made sense. Even now, he could feel the familiar ache in his feet from a day of battle. The weariness in his bones that only came with a hard day’s work. Somewhat bitterly, he wondered how he was able to recall such a thing; it had been ages since Captain America’ services were required. Even longer since he’d been out in the field.

“Thanks for the save, Shellhead.”

“Anytime,” he replied easily. “That’s what I’m here for.”

Warming, “To have my back?”

“To rescue damsels in distress.”

Laughing, Steve forgot himself and bumped into his shoulder playfully. To his surprise, there was that strange solidness. Warm and near perfect, reminiscent of what really it felt like to be near Tony.

“Where to now?” Tony asked, stopping in place.

The wind blew a few stray curls into his face. His hair had been longer back then, curling in the back in a way that used to drive Tony crazy. Steve had always wondered what it would be like to pull his hand out of his glove and run his fingers through it. Near perfect, he supposed. He’d never done so before.

Averting his gaze, he cleared his throat. “I should check on the Avengers. The real Avengers. See if they need me.”

Tony nodded, chewing on his lip. “But, you’ll come back, right?”

 

+

 

There was a small dust up in Queens.

It didn’t require the full might of the Avengers, so Steve decided to take care of it on his own. Tony dropped in midway through to help out. It was strange talking to him over the comms. He’d find himself biting back questions about their fight with Fin Fang Foom and the U-Foes. But he hadn’t fought them with the Iron Man at his side; at least, not last week. It had been nice remembering when Tony had been the only person he’d trusted at his back. When he’d look over in the middle of a battle and know that Tony would be there. When he’d call out an order and find it unnecessary because Tony instinctively knew what Steve was going to say.

It had been nice remembering when they’d been partners.

Now, they took the elevator in silence, the lights of Avengers Mountain nearly blinding in the late hour. Steve caught Tony sneaking glances at him a few times before he asked, “Can I help you?”

“How is it?” Tony asked, shuffling his feet.

“What?”

“The _eScape_.” At Steve’s frown, he continued. “I know you’ve used it.”

For some strange reason, the question made Steve's stomach tighten nervously . “You’ve been spying on me?”

“No, no!” Tony insisted, turning to face him as the elevator doors opened. Steve stepped out and Tony followed close behind. “No, I haven’t. I get an alert any time one of the prototypes are used. I haven’t been keeping tabs on you.”

Steve started towards his quarters, pulling his gloves off as he went. They’d fought for a few hours but it didn’t feel nearly as satisfying as when he’d fought alongside Tony in the _eScape_. The realization was rather unsettling. Perhaps reality would never be satisfying enough for him now.

“So, how is it?” Tony asked, leaning against the door jamb. “Is it buggy? Does everything feel the way it’s supposed to?”

Steve’s face warmed. “It’s fine, Tony.”

A beat. Then, “You’d tell me if it wasn’t, right?” Steve met his eyes, taking in the softness in Tony’s gaze. A sincerity Steve hadn’t been sure he’d ever see again. At least, not here.

“Yes, I’d tell you.” Clearing his throat, he gestured to the door. “Can I?” Tony nodded jerkily, stepping back.

Steve closed the door and stripped down. Listening intently, he waiting to ensure Tony wasn’t hovering outside.

Then he reached into his bag and pulled out the faceplate.

 

+

 

Weightless, falling through the air as the round rushed up to meet him.

Steve’s heart nearly beat out of his chest, his eyes clenched shut before he landed on something hard. “Took you long enough,” a familiar voice chided, the sound of thrusters drowning out Steve’s breathless laugh as he cut through the air towards the battle below. The thrill of the fight quickly took over.

He remembered this day. The Avengers v. the Zodiac.

Aquarius roared above them, lashing out with the force of a powerful tide. Steve shielded himself, back to back with Tony as the Hulk lashed out at Taurus. A replusor blast shoved Gemini back as Steve tossed his shield at Aquarius. A forceful blast of water put him on his back and he quickly rolled out of the line of fire.

“That’s my man,” Tony cheered, soaring high above him.

With a battle cry, Steve leapt back into the fray.  


 

 

When the battle was over, Tony walked alongside Steve, hair matted to his forehead as he rested the helmet under his arm. He offered a nervous smile, hanging back as Steve stepped out of the jet and stood in front of the last place he ever thought he’d see.

“Pretty good, right?” Tony asked hesitantly, watching quietly. Steve could hear the uncertainty in his voice but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him.

Lush greenery lining the grounds, leading up to the four-story mansion in the center. Those familiar designs carved into the wooden framing, the soot mark in the corner of the second story window where one of the fireworks on Steve’s birthday had gone off course and nearly set Jennifer’s drapes on fire. The tall sycamore tree along the west wing that Tony had once caught Steve using in an attempt to escape bed rest. The tree in the back where Cassie Lang had carved her initials.

Steve moved forward, as if in a dream. Reaching out a gloved hand to touch the back doorframe. Tracing over the spot where Jan had sparked a laugh while Clint was doing target practice. Steve’s eyes warmed, his throat tightening as he let his hand fall down by his side.

Everything, the scent of the flowers, the manicured lawn, the sunlight beaming down upon his face – everything felt painfully, breathtakingly _real_. A vice clamped down on his chest and he sought Tony out in panic.

“What is this place?” he demanded, his eyes spilling over.

Tony stood beside him, vibrant blue and apologetic. The armor entered the mansion in the corner of his eye, following along with the memory. At his question, Tony explained. “I can stay in my body, god, that’s a strange thing to say,” he muttered, “or I can stay here with you.”

Swallowing thickly, Steve scanned the grounds with distrust. “What the hell is this? You said it was some kind of game.”

“It is,” Tony said gently, gesturing towards the door. “We should go inside. We can talk there.”

Steve shook his head dazedly, watching through the back window as Clint leaned against the kitchen counter beside a worn-out Bruce banner. Jarvis bustled by, a tray of tea in his hands. Steve looked to the patio furniture set and sat down heavily, covering his face as he regained composure.

Tony followed, standing before him. A few quiet moments passed before Steve looked up and found Tony snatching a hand back with a nervous smile. “Sorry, I was going to,” he trailed off awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his head. “Force of habit.”

Steve closed his eyes. “Explain.”

“It’s part of the –”

“Why would this be part of the game, Tony? The counter still has the dent in it from when Thor set Mjolnir down too quickly and Wanda’s shawl is draped over one of the chairs and,” his voice broke, “the _smell_ – everything smells exactly the same. So, you tell me what’s going on right now or, so help me,” his eyes cut to Tony’s, “I will leave this place and I will never come back.”

Tony’s eyes widened in pain, his jaw tensing. He paced a few steps, his hands in his pockets. Finally, he stopped with a heavy sigh. “What do you want to know?”

“What is this?”

“The _eScape_ ,” he said plainly. At Steve’s pointed stare, he added, ‘That’s still true. Tony – I – _we_ created this virtual reality system.”

“You said it was some sort of game,” Tony nodded. “What is this part of it? The mansion? The tower? What kid wants to see this part where we go home and – and make sandwiches?”

The corner of Tony’s mouth turned up. “You do,” he said softly. Moving in closer, “He wanted to give you some of your past back.”

Sitting down beside Steve, he took in the sight before them. Clint’s head tossed back in laughter as Bruce flashed a bashful grin. Neither of them aware of what the future would hold. “He made this for you,” Tony added quietly. “He made me for you.”

Steve listened to the quiet tones of Clint murmuring to Bobbi, Bruce’s quiet laughter. Jan teasing Wanda in the living room. He breathed in the scent of the lilies Jarvis had always taken great pride in. The smell of baked goods making its way outside.

Eyes wet, he looked to Tony who offered a small smile.

They sat there for hours.

 

 

+

 

Now, this wasn’t a battle Steve remembered.

For one thing, he was dressed head to toe in old fashioned armor much heavier than his own. Clint was standing alongside him in a purple get up even showier than his classic Hawkeye garment. There was something off about this: some big concept Steve couldn’t quite grasp. Every time he tried, it slipped away from him, his head fuzzy and unclear. When Clint reached over to touch his shoulder, Steve felt as though he could really feel the weight of it.

“Come on, Yeoman,” he shouted, racing forward. Steve followed instinctively.

They came upon a large castle where Longbow approached the nearest guard and took him out with a right cross. The four remaining guards burst into action, racing towards them with a shout. Clint sent Steve away, ensuring that he had it handled and Steve slid by with a thanks. His feet pounded the stone floors as he followed a path that was strangely familiar and entirely new to him at the same time.

He had a sense that he was missing something. He wasn’t sure where he was or why he needed to climb the spiral staircase at the end of the hall. He needed to retrieve something – no, he needed to retrieve _someone_. Steve was in search of a person.

As he moved, most of the inhabitants jumped out of his way. Finally, he reached the stairwell and he raced up the stairs, his thighs burning with the strain of the weighty armor. There were wooden doors at the end of the hall. He should knock; some part of him was sure that was the proper thing to do. But, Steve didn’t have much time. He slammed his shoulder into the door, falling into a dark room shrouded in heavy drapes.

In the center, a large four poster bed. It was rather extravagant for the times with long, red velvet curtains hiding the inhabitant. Steve ripped them open to find a shirtless man sleeping soundly inside.

 _Tony_.

A bare and toned thigh peeked out from the sheets, his chest softly rising and falling as he snored quietly. Long lashes casting soft shadows along his cheeks and as a fond warmth bloomed in Steve’s chest. It seemed a shame to wake him. Clint burst in behind him, nearly tumbling into Steve.

“Come on, Stark! We gotta go!”

The man startled away, taking in Steve and Clint’s presence and yanking the sheets over himself. His brow furrowed as a small object buzzed around his head.

“Come on, Shellhead!” Jan shouted. “We gotta go! Wanda needs us!”

 

 

Afterwards, Tony followed Steve back to his room at the mansion, his blue light casting a strangely realistic glow along the walls. Knocking softly on the doorjamb, he poked his head inside. Steve offered a small smile and a nod.

Tony rushed forward, eyes alit. A near painful wave of nostalgia threatened to take Steve under. “That was _amazing!_ We got to wear genuine Arthurian armor!”

Steve shook his head, smiling despite himself. He’d forgotten how in love Tony was with artifacts of that era. He remembered volunteering to go with Tony to the Arthurian Centre when they were overseas. Jan had spared them a rather knowing look, almost as if she knew why Steve hadn’t minded that no one else had joined them.

“Haven’t you seen this all before? These are your memories.”

Tony’s face fell a bit. “I don’t really get to just play, you know?

Steve sank down on the edge of the bed. Sometimes, he forgot that he called the shots here, not Tony. He was pretty much at Steve’s mercy the entire time he was here. When Steve wasn’t playing, did Tony move around? Explore? Did he have any autonomy at all? Or did he just sit and wait in some sort of limbo? The blank, white, endless expanse Steve had wandered when he’d first entered the _eScape_.  
  
“This was…” Tony took a deep breath, the light returning to his eyes. It was infectious and Steve found himself brightening in response. Tony’s face broke out in a glowing smile. “It was everything!”

“Yeah,” Steve replied with a laugh, his chest tightening as he took in the crinkling of Tony’s eyes, the easy joy in his expression. He’d forgotten things had ever been this easy. “I guess it was.”

“I’ve always wanted to be a knight,” he offered, as though it was a secret.

“I would have never guessed, what with you running around in a suit of armor.” Tony stuck out his tongue, sitting down beside Steve. “It was pretty cool,” Steve admitted.

“I like you in armor,” Tony replied, a teasing smile on his face.

Normally, this was the part where Steve would shy away and change the subject. He always had in the past. But here, he felt his smile widen. “Like when I rode horseback to save you?”

A blankness came over Tony’s face, confusion apparent. It took a moment before he averted his gaze. Another moment before Steve realized. “But you don’t remember that, do you?” Steve asked slowly.

Tony shook his head, offering a meager, “No, I don’t. I’m sorry.” At Steve’s curse, he and added, “But, you could tell me about it.”

Steve took in his earnestness, forcing himself to speak. “Well, you were naked.” Tony burst out laughing, the sound drawing the words out. “And helpless, as usual.” Tony moved in closer, hanging on Steve’s every word. He was so close that Steve almost felt like he could feel his body heat. But that couldn’t be real, right? This was a memory.

Tony was inches away, his bright blue visage casting a light across Steve’s face, but it wasn’t blinding. Even made of light, it was such a soft light that wasn’t at all painful to look at. In fact, Steve found it near impossible to tear his eyes away. He laid his hands-on Steve’s shoulders, a firm pressure that took Steve’s breath away.

“You needed me,” Steve whispered, gazing up at him in wonder.

Tony took him in silently, his hands only warm. Darting in, his eyes shut as he took Steve’s mouth in a kiss. A soft, barely there pressure with a burst of warmth that made Steve feel as though he’d pressed his lips to a star. Breath catching, his mouth falling open as he leaned into it, his heart pounding in his chest. The quiet sounds of the mansion fell away, all thought fled.

Like how ill-advised this was; how hopeless, senseless and ultimately pointless it was. But inevitable. Should someone give Steve an endless universe to do whatever he wanted to do, with whoever he wanted to do it with, no rules, no obstacles –

Veering back, he covered his mouth, quickly rising to his feet. Tony stared at him, eyes wide and fearful. “I’m sorry,” Steve rasped, his stomach twisting.

Tony’s eyes widened, “What?”

“I should have – I know you’re only doing what I,” he bit off his words, face burning in shame. “I’ll go.”

“Steve, wait—”

 

+

 

After that night, Steve returned the faceplate to its box and buried it in the back of his closet.

He was too ashamed to look at it any further. What he’d done was unforgivable. Tony – the version of him in the eScape was entirely at Steve’s mercy. He went where Steve went and he did what Steve did. He didn’t have a say and he couldn’t push Steve away. He’d said it plain and simple: he’d been created for Steve.

And Steve had taken advantage of that.

Cursing, he threw his fist into the punching bag. He’d been going over that night in his mind for hours now and he still didn’t understand why he’d done it. Why he’d reached out to simply touch the heated surface of Tony’s skin and instead took what wasn’t his. Why he’d closed his eyes and pretended there hadn’t been several good reasons he’d never tried it before. Why he’d never tried it all those years ago when Tony had been his closest friend, his partner.

Why he’d spent hours ruminating over it and hadn’t managed to shake the shameful realization that it hadn’t been nearly enough for him.

He’d wanted more. He’d wanted to chase more of bright light, to capture it and steal some of it for himself. He’d wanted to take his time and let himself get lost in the feel Tony’s body against his. He’d wanted to cross all those years of distance in the mansion where it had all started. He’d wanted to rewrite history.

And he’d wanted it to be real.   

To make matters worse, Tony hadn’t been seen around Avengers Mountain. When asked, he told the others he was busy with launching the _eScape_ , with Jan, with Rhodey. With anyone but his team. For all Steve knew, that was true. But, what if it wasn’t?

What if Tony knew what Steve had done? That he’d used a perfectly innocent game as an opportunity to live out a fantasy he’d never allowed himself to have? What kind of person did that make him?

The bag slammed into his face, the sting drawing him out of his reverie. He caught it, panting and trying to catch his breath. Finally, he climbed out of the ring.

Steve was a lot of things, but he wasn’t a coward. He’d crossed a line and he owed Tony an apology. No more hiding.

He headed up to his bedroom, his body strung tight. Whether Tony had other business or he truly was avoiding the team, Steve had a responsibility to make this right. He moved to the closet and pulled out the box, tossing the lead over his shoulder. When the faceplate powered up, he was back in that bright white expanse, squinting as he waited for his eyes to adjust. Tony was nowhere to be found.

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Is anybody here?” He moved forward, staring into the vast nothingness. “FRIDAY? Tony?”

Earning no response, he continued on. The space seemed to go on forever, never changing. With every step, he felt as though he was standing still. But he had no other choice, he kept going.

He walked.

And he walked.

And he walked until he felt the ache in his feet, the burn in his thighs. Until the hair curling along the back of his neck stuck to his skin. He walked until the white expanse started to incline. Another step and he fell.

His scream echoed throughout the empty space as he reached out for anything to cling to, fingers scrambling in empty air. With a loud crack, he slammed onto hard ground, the scent of earth in his nose. Groaning, he sat up slowly, feeling out his limbs. Nothing appeared to be broken; then again, it would be impossible to truly hurt himself. It was one of the reasons Tony’s concern for his safety had always baffled him.

Climbing to his feet, he took in his surroundings.

He was back at the mansion, only this time, without the gentle laughter and conversation inside. The lights were all out, save for one bedroom on the third floor. Tony’s room.

Steve entered, his heart in his throat. He climbed the stairs two by two, taking the route he’d always know by heart. He didn’t know what he expected to find. A virtual Tony that would do his best to accept Steve’s apology? The real Tony hiding out in virtual reality because of what Steve had done?

As he came to the third floor, he heard a loud thump and the sound of broken glass. He raced towards the sound, his boots loud on the wood floors. Another thump as he stopped right outside the door.

“Get up!” Tony shouted, muffled through the wood paneled walls.

The door was cracked and Steve peeked inside. There was a table lamp lying broken on the floor, the porcelain casing shattered into pieces. Light bulb flickering, washing the room in a golden glow. Tony stood, his blue form rising up over a lump of a half-naked man curled up on the floor.

“Get up! You’re pathetic!” He tried to jostle the man awake. “I can’t help you! You have to help yourself!”

Steve hovered outside, watching through the crack in the door.

Tony cursed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why would you want to relive this?” He paced, murmuring, “This night, everyone else was gone on a mission you were too drunk to assist with. You drank yourself into a stupor and if there hadn’t been a screwdriver buried in your sheets making you roll onto your side, you would have choked on your own vomit.”

He dropped down over the form, shaking ever so slightly. “No wonder he left.”

Steve crept closer, peering around the door. After some time, the man on the floor rolled over, his skin pale and sallow, dried vomit on the corner of his mouth. Stiffening, Steve’s stomach twisted, his chest tightening in concern as he took in the classic mustache, the familiar arch of the nose.

Tony.

Backing away, his back slammed into the wall behind him, drawing bright blue eyes. They widened in surprise and then shame, climbing over the ball on the floor to slam the door shut. There was another loud thump, a series of hushed whispers and the sound of bedsprings. Steve stood, frozen in the hall for another few moments before he moved forward.

The door opened, answering question he’d had. The virtual Tony was struggling to bundle Tony beneath the covers. Steve rushed over to help, earning a helpless plea.

“Please, I’ve got it. You should go.”

“I’m fine right here.”

He pushed Tony’s feet onto the mattress. He wasn’t sure how this worked: if this was one of Tony’s memories, could he actively change anything? Apparently, he could as Tony settled on his side. Steve started to back away when one blue eye opened, weary and landing on Steve.

“You weren’t supposed to see that,” he rasped.

A blue hand landed on Steve’s chest and tried to push him out of the room. Steve fought it, his eyes caught on Tony’s form. For a moment, just an instant, he was right back there standing in the Elysian Fields motel trying to get through to his partner. The helpless feeling was all too familiar. His throat went dry, his knees weakening as the hand gripped his wrist.

“Please,” he heard, finding those eerily bright blue eyes pleading with him.

Steve finally complied, letting himself be steered into the hall. Tony led the way to Steve’s old room, his shoulders hunched. Once inside, he paced for a moment, running a hand over his head. Steve sat on the edge of the bed, watching him quietly. Finally, Tony stopped in front of Steve’s desk, resting his hands flat on the surface.

When it seemed he’d calmed, Steve asked, “Are you okay?”

“It’s a memory, Steve. You know that,” he replied tiredly.

“I know that.” Steve licked his lips, feeling a bit awkward. “I meant you. Not – not that memory of you.”

That gave him pause and he sat up, his eyes widening. “I’m a program, Steve.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “I can’t feel things.”

“That’s not true,” Steve replied softly, holding Tony’s gaze. “You can. I’ve seen it.”  
  
“I spend my time here and sometimes, I – I _think_ I feel things. I’ll watch you eat something and I’ll get the strangest feeling in my stomach, almost like – like the memory of being hungry. Or, we’ll slay a dragon or swim to Atlantis and I’ll remember what it felt like to be scared or worried or angry. And, when I’m with you, sometimes I feel,” his eyes glimmered, shimmering in the dim light of the quiet room. “I _feel_ , Steve. I could swear to you that I do. I get nervous and so damn excited and it all feels painfully real.”

He moved in closer, “And then you leave and I feel like I might just disappear.” He bit his lip, turning towards the window. “And then I’ll wonder if those are my feelings or,” his voice softened, “or are they his? Are they real, or are they just code? Sometimes, I think I know. Sometimes, I think we really are two separate people.”

Steve tried to follow, “What’s wrong with him?”

“I told you how this place works. The general public has a game space. There are territories within them. Fun things like the Wild Wild West and the Year 3000. There’s even a world where we’re all zombies. They can play and interact with the other members of the public. And then there’s this place. Only you have access to it. These are all his,” Tony said, gesturing to the room. “His memories of the mansion and the tower. Of you. Of your adventures.”

“We share this?”

“Not quite.” He ran a hand over his head, choosing his words carefully. “He didn’t want to ruin this for you. This is all a variation on tech that allows him to examine his own memories. His own subscape. Only I can access it outside of him. And you, it seems.”

“What’s in it?”

“Everything he wanted. Everybody loves him. The Avengers have all returned, women fawn over him, he’s a hero. He’s not beholden to anything. Not his past, or the government, or his addiction. It means he can drink to his heart’s content.”

Steve took in the hard lines of his face. “That sounds awful.”

Tony turned away, placing his hands on the desk. “You don’t understand, Steve. You’re wasting it. You can leave this place. You can go outside and be around people, _real_ people. You spend your time here revisiting the past and using this place as some sort of refuge but you can leave.”

He turned around as Steve stood, his voice soft, “Tony.”

“I can’t! I’m trapped here with him.” His image flickered, a tear rolling down his cheek. “He’d never ask you for help – he can’t. He’s so focused on the past and trying to handle it on his own that he’s forgotten.” At Steve’s silence, he continued. “It was always you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He built this world for you. He built me for you. In the midst of all of that, nearly every adventure was asking you to come find me. To come save me.” He turned around, moving forward determinedly. “He could never ask.”

He stood inches away, his eyes brighter than ever. “So, he has me, some attempt to save himself. To try to retroactively fix his past. I can’t leave. Instead, I watch him live every moment over and over and over again. Every mistake. Every death. Every time I sold my soul. Every time we fought. Everything I did that pulled me closer and closer to the edge. I see everything I’ve ever hated about myself, every contradiction, every flaw, every time I hurt the people I loved and I can’t change anything.”

He reached out for Steve, “I can tell myself that it’s not me – that I didn’t do those things, but it was me. We’re the same.”

Wordlessly, Steve pulled him in. He wished he knew that this helped, even just a little.

“You can leave,” Tony whispered, leaving the strangest sensation of warm breath on Steve’s neck.

Steve pulled back, taking in the drawn look on his face. Tony held his gaze, the corner of his mouth turned down. Steve reached out carefully, his heart pounding as he rested his palm on Tony’s cheek. His mouth fell open, marveling at the strange, warm pressure. Like touching a plane of glass on a hot day. He cupped Tony’s face in both hands, holding his gaze before Tony’s eyes fell softly shut.

His hands wrapped lightly around Steve’s wrists as he leaned in. “Tell me to stop,” Steve whispered.

Their lips met, a spark igniting within.

 

+

 

Steve spent the next day in a haze, a smile never leaving his face.

Every time he touched his lips, he could feel Tony’s. The sweet softness of it and the warmth it left behind. He found himself lost in thought in the middle of the Avengers meeting, on the train, during his meager dinner afterwards. If he had to put a word to it, he was smitten. It had been so long since he’d truly felt such a way. He felt like a teenager.

On this day, he was tracing his bottom lip in the hall of Avengers Mountain while he waited for the elevator. The doors opened and he nearly knocked Tony over. Blushing, he stammered out an apology, helping Tony to his feet.

Tony waved him off, seemingly not noticing Steve’s red cheeks. “No worries, Cap. I wasn’t looking where I was going.” He took in Steve’s face, an amused grin on his own. “Neither were you, it seems. What’s going on?”

“How do you mean?” he asked, rubbing at the back of his head.

“Well, you’ve been rather cheerful the past few weeks. Well, cheerful for you, anyway.” At Steve’s silence, he added, “I know we haven’t really been the kind of people that catch up these days and, well, if you don’t want to tell me, you don’t have—”

“No, it’s fine. I just, I wasn’t sure if you already knew or—”

“I wouldn’t take offense at all. Honestly—”

“It seems like you don’t—"

“I get that things have been awkward between us. Before, and then that thing in the _eScape_ ,” he began, silencing Steve finally. Blinking, he waited for Steve to add something, anything at all. “You weren’t meant to see that.”

They’d been having two entirely different conversations. “I tried finding you after but, Rhodey told me you weren’t seeing anyone.” _And I realized I haven’t known about your secret hiding spots the past few years._

“I had a few rough spots.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, focusing on the space over Steve’s shoulder. “I didn’t want you to see me like that.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

It was hard to look at him and not think of the other Tony. The one that had all of Tony’s thoughts and memories. The one that Tony had made for him. Sometimes, Steve wondered if he and Tony might have become something more than friends. But several years, disassembly, a few wars and Steve never voiced those thoughts. He’d never told Tony what he knew in his heart: the hardest war he’d ever fought was opposite the greatest love of his life.

Now, he asked, “Are you okay?”

Tony’s eyes widened, his lip caught between his teeth. He looked to Steve for a brief second before lowering his eyes. “I’m fine, Steve. I’m always fine.”

“You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”

Tony flashed him a smile and pet Steve’s on the shoulder. He moved down the hall, his head held high, back ramrod straight.  

 

+

 

It was dark.

Even after all this time, Steve marveled at how real the city scape felt in here.

Now, he touched his bare chest with a sigh, shooting Tony a light glare. Though, it was hard to get too upset with him – Steve couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Tony look so gleeful.

“You let me pick the mission, big guy.” His tone sent a curious shiver through Steve’s body.

“Did you have to pick one during my most dramatic era?” He was wearing a cape for god’s sake.

“If you ruled out the drama, I’d have no missions to choose from,” he countered, rising up into the air. “Now, come on, _Nomad_. We’ve got some Avengers to save!”

Shaking his head fondly, Steve took off beside him.

 

 

Steve pushed back his cowl, watching as Tony stripped off his armor. They were in Steve’s room at the mansion, the rest of the team having left them to their own devices. Steve didn’t remember what he’d done all those years ago. Pretty safe to guess he’d gone back to his apartment alone after the battle. Now, he stood in the center of the room, barefoot and waiting as Tony approached in a t-shirt and jeans.

“So,” Steve began. “How does this work?”

Smiling, Tony strode closer. The blue light illuminating the darkly lit room. Steve knew that, should he reach out, he’d only feel that same warm pressure. Even so, he was nervous.

He sat down in the desk chair as Tony neared. “You’ve never touched me.”

Heart pounding, Steve watched as Tony straddled his legs. “At least,” he continued, “not like this.” His lashes fluttered over his cheeks as he settled on Steve’s lap. “This is all new to me,” he admitted.

He touched Steve’s face, “Here, if you let me in,” he whispered softly, eyes darting to Steve’s, bright and hesitant. “I can channel a memory with someone else.” Steve stiffened and he hurried to add, “I won’t invade your privacy, just… well the sensation of it. The weight on your lap and the pressure.”

Steve thought this over, a hint of doubt. More than that, the realization that this could never, truly be real. But it was all he had. “I guess that’s alright.”

Tony offered a gentle smile, shifting on his lap. “It won’t be quite the same,” he trailed off, closing his eyes.

All at once, Steve felt Tony’s weight on his thighs, the warmth of him slowly seeping through Steve’s jeans. His eyes snapped open in surprise, holding Tony’s gaze as he reached up to grip Tony’s hips. Warm and fleshy, drawing a soft gasp from Tony’s lips. Steve’s hands slid underneath Tony’s shirt, his palm sliding over Tony’s bare stomach.

Shivering, he asked, “How does it feel?”

Holding his gaze, Steve bit down his reply, taking Tony's mouth in an urgent kiss.  
  
This was the closest thing to real that he would ever get.

 

 

+

 

“Touch yourself for me.”

Steve sucked in a breath, heat coiling in his center. Spread out on his bed in his apartment but, for now, spread out on the bed in the mansion. Tony sat at the end of the bed watching him avidly. What he got out of this, Steve wasn’t entirely sure.

Regardless, he complied. He pressed the heel of his palm into his groin, rocking as his cock hardened further. They’d started with some light teasing. Tony’s mouth on his, the warm weight bearing down on him. His mouth on Steve’s neck, his hand on Steve’s chest and sliding over it casually until a brush of a finger sent sparks down Steve’s spine and Tony took his time exploring that. He’d wanted to put his mouth over a hardened nub until Steve confessed no one ever had before.

There were limitations to this experiment of theirs.

Now, he slid his zipper down, stretching out comfortably. He tugged his jeans and underwear down. Wrapping his hand loosely around his cock, he stroked it once, squeezing tighter as heat coiled in his center. This would be over embarrassingly fast unless he paced himself. But knowing where he was, that Tony was watching, it was all he could do to keep from bucking into his fist.

He started slow, slowing rocking his hips. It had been a painfully long time since he’d allowed himself the time for something so self-seeking. A clever twist of the wrist drew a gasp from his lips, hand tightening around his length. He didn’t quite understand how this worked – was this a memory or was he making a new one? Another twist and a strangled groan escaped, precome dripping down the shaft onto his finger.

His eyes slid open, heart skipping a beat. Tony was watching him avidly, eyes dark with hunger. Steve squeezed tight around the base, holding off as he licked his lips and rasped, “Talk to me. Tell me how this works.” _I want to hear your voice_.

Tony nodded jerkily, moving in closer. “Well, it’s like this,” his eyes fell to Steve’s hand. “The program is designed to keep you immersed in the game. All sensations are what I want you to feel.” He reached out, his hand warm on Steve’s stomach as he stretched out along his side. “To keep you engaged. To make it easy to get lost in here.”

His hand trailed higher, playing over one of Steve’s nipples. Gasping, Steve bucked into his hand. “But I can feel my hand,” Steve whispered.

“Because I want you to,” Tony replied easily, pressing his lips to Steve’s throat. “If I let you keep that awareness, you can feel your hand and I can watch.” His eyes cut to Steve’s. “You don’t know what it feels like for me to touch you. And I don’t want you to think of anyone else.”

Steve bit down on his lip, his body moving of its own accord. Pushing into his hand, his cock throbbing and making a mess of his stomach. When he closed his eyes, he could see Tony staring down at him. Not blue and vibrant but real, his hands strong and firm on Steve’s stomach. Pressing down, sliding down his abdomen to soft blond curls. Taking over, wrapping around Steve’s length and stroking firmly. That clever mouth on Steve’s throat, his chin, taking his mouth.

He came with a cry, eyes wet, clenched shut as he spilled over his hand, his stomach and his sheets. Back arching, his hips bucking as he pushed into his hand. As he shook apart, he could feel fingers softly carding through his hair as Tony murmured to him softly.

But Steve didn’t hear him.

 

+

 

When Steve awoke, he didn’t recognize his surroundings.

He knew this room, of course. He knew these sheets, but he didn’t know how he’d gotten here. He sat up slowly, squinting at the burst of sunlight streaming in through the windows. The door opened and Tony appeared, bright blue and hesitant.

“What happened?”

“You slept here.”

Steve blinked at him. “What?”

“You just never turned off the interface. I wasn’t sure what to do.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s not recommended. There’s a safety feature intended to protect your eyes from the bright lights of the extended display. But,” his voice softened. “It was sort of nice.”

Warming, Steve sat up and asked, “Do you sleep?” A shake of the head. “You’re always here when I’m here.”

“Yes,” he hesitated. “And when the other me is here, I can be in two places at once. But, you’re the only other person to have access to me when I’m like this,” he gestured to his blue form.

“You mentioned that earlier. Other people want you.”

He shifted awkwardly. “They want the show of it. Little scavenger hunts where they can try to find me in the Savage Land. A quest to earn more points.”

Steve smiled, running a hand over his head. “I’ve found you several times now. What do I get?”

Tony bit down a smile, climbing over him as his tone grew soft and sultry. “For my hero, anything you want.”

 

+

 

It continued on like this for months.

Steve came when the Avengers needed him and picked up around his apartment. Checked in with T’Challa on the Nukes. Every other moment of his free time was spent in the _eScape_. With Tony. It was nice – they went on adventures, small dates in places they’d shared in the real world. Steve found it hard to lose that distinction. He knew their limitations.

They could never really touch. Every encounter came with the reminder that Tony was manipulating the memories of other people touching him. Every touch was real enough – but it wasn’t real. Steve could never have Tony, _his_ Tony, this way. Every kiss came with the painful reminder that this wasn’t enough.

But it was nice to pretend.

Now, Steve was sitting at the counter watching Tony fix him breakfast.

Well, watching him stand next to Jarvis as Jarvis fixed them breakfast. But he was assisting. It was the thought that counted. “You don’t have to,” he insisted.

Tony turned, thrusting a spatula at him. “Yes, I do. It’s your birthday.”

“It’s really not.” Of all the memories he’d experienced in here, this was one that came with a sharp pain. Steve couldn’t eat, he knew that. Tony knew that. It was all for show. Just as everything else was.

“It really is,” Tony replied. “I made you pancakes on your birthday that year.”

“You attempted to and then Jarvis came in to rescue from crunching on eggshells.”

Tony shook his head, coming around to sit beside Steve. “You could have turned me down.”

“No, I couldn’t. You were so sweet and you were trying to do something nice.” He smiled, his chest tightening. “Back then, you tried so hard to do nice things for me. Take me out around the city, fix me homecooked meals, watch movies with me.”

“And you never thought to wonder why?”

The question gave Steve pause, a question forming as a chill ran down his spine. Tony still sitting beside him, a smile on his face. But he hadn’t spoken.

Steve turned sharply to find Tony Stark standing in the doorway in his armor. Steve’s Tony. The helmet was under his arm, some sort of glasses on his face as he strode forward. “I need to talk to you.”

Steve looked to the Tony beside him, frozen in place, eyes open as though there was some sort of lag on the display. “Is he okay?” Steve asked, reaching for him. For once, his hand swiped clear through the image, leaving Steve unsettled. He climbed off the stool as Tony shot him a strange look.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s fine. Just paused for the moment.” He led Steve to the living room. His face was grave. “You have to get out of here.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The _eScape_ has been invaded. Some sort of virus. If you stay here any longer, you’re risking permanent brain damage. I have to shut it down for good.”

Steve’s stomach twisted and he veered back, his eyes cutting to the kitchen. “No.” He swallowed, “No, I can’t do that.”

“It’s not safe—”

“Tony, you built this. How can that happen?” His breath quickened, pressing a shaky hand to his chest.  

Tony’s brow furrowed in apology. “I trusted the wrong person.” The corner of his mouth turned up. “It’s been known to happen.”

Steve turned away, taking a slow breath as he took in his surroundings. The vase of flowers on the end table, the portrait above the fireplace, Bobbi’s sweater on the couch. The place where he’d sat and listened to Tony talk about the logic behind his roller skates for hours past when a reasonable person would have walked away. The place where he’d fallen asleep on New Year’s Eve in front of the television and awoke to find Tony asleep on his shoulder. The place where he’d nearly mustered the courage to kiss Tony beneath a sprig of mistletoe.

Every inch of this mansion was a place where Steve had fallen further in love with the man standing in front of him.

And for a moment, for a little while, he’d gotten that back. Tony had returned to him a piece of his home. A piece of his past.

And now he was taking it away.

“No,” Steve said, backing away.

“We have to go. Even this time here is risking too much.”

“No, I won’t,” Steve said, turning to leave.

“It’s not safe,” Tony said, following behind. His eyes were bright blue and sincere. Steve had never known how to turn away from that face. “Please, come with me. I’m trying to protect you.”

“I don’t care,” Steve replied, moving towards the kitchen. Tony grabbed his arm, physical and strange. The only other person who’d ever touched him was sitting in the kitchen.

Steve pulled away, his voice rough, “You don’t get it, Tony. These past few months, I’ve been utterly useless. I was lost and alone, I had nothing. Then I came here.” His chest grew painfully tight, a leaden weight in the pit of his stomach. “He’s the only one that needs me.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “That’s not true.” At Steve’s face, his eyes softened. “I need you.” He smiled, his eyes glimmering. “There are people out there that need you. I built this entire system hoping that you would get some of your past back. And now I see how many of my fondest memories focused on that unshakeable faith that you would come save me when I needed it.” A tear rolled down his cheek as he held Steve’s gaze. “Maybe the world doesn’t need Captain America, but I do. I need you.”

Steve held his gaze, his chest tight. Even now, looking into Tony’s eyes, he knew the answer. He remembered that night he’d found Tony in the mansion – _he’d never ask._

Swallowing thickly, Steve looked to the kitchen. He could see the other Tony sitting at the counter, frozen in place. Steve’s eyes warmed. “Can I at least say goodbye?”

Tony held his gaze, relief lessening some of the tension in his shoulders. Nodding once, he stepped back. “Of course.”

He hung back as Steve moved back towards the counter. As he neared, the image spoke, “It’s time to go, isn’t it, Steve?”

He turned, his eyes widened in pain. Steve stood in front, his throat tight. “It’s only for a little while.” He tried a smile.

Taking his hands, Tony held Steve’s gaze as his creator came up behind him.  
  
The words were soft, “You promise?”

**Author's Note:**

> The eScape turns into a complete disaster in the comic. With the Controller and Motherboard, etc, the interface basically starts endangering the lives of every single person using it. So, team Iron Man comes together to shut it down. In this story, Tony - the real Tony - enters the game to pull Steve out.


End file.
